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When You Find A Snake At Home And That’s Not The Worst Of It

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you will have heard about the snake invasion.

#Straya.

And, let’s be honest, if you’re living under a rock a) snakes probably aren’t your biggest concern and b) the snake is probably living there right alongside you.

But for those of us with four walls and a roof, here we were thinking the heatwave was bad enough.

It’s not like we don’t already have to deal with sweaty nights and our makeup disappearing before we’ve even made it to work.

Despite the news throwing around statistics like 1 in 3 houses in the South East of Queensland will encounter a snake, for some reason I thought I’d be spared from such a fright.

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Boy, was I wrong. 

It began on Thursday night when my nan called out from downstairs.

“Is that a big stick that just fell out of the tree?” she asked, while perched by the sliding door – Maltese shitzu in tow.

I naively hoped that I would look out the door, see a perfectly average stick and then most likely pay her out for it. Because that’s the good family member I am.

It was not a stick.

But rather an impressively sized Carpet Python.

Had it dropped out of the tree mere minutes earlier I would have had to make the difficult choice of who to save first: my elderly nan or the defenceless white ball of fluff that may have looked like dinner.

So, while Nan staved off a slight panic attack, and Elmo the dog pretended to be invincible while barking from the other side of the security door, I was madly Googling and calling around to find a way to get my biggest fear removed from our courtyard.

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And the biggest fright of all?

If you have a snake in your backyard, no one will come and remove it for free.

In fact, we were quoted, on average, a $120 call out fee that had to be paid even if they didn’t find the bloody animal.

While I understand and appreciate these people have to make a living, I never thought that there would be NO free council options!

Instead, we called in the big guns - mum and the family friend who grew up in the country.

After some improvising with a metal coat hanger and a fabric bag that we donated to the cause, the snake was caught.

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Albeit there was some taunting before it was securely in the bag and ready to be relocated.

No body volunteered to go on the drive with the country girl - #SorryNotSorry - but the relief of knowing the snake is gone was priceless.

Even if we all slept with one eye open waiting to meet its brothers and sisters.

So be warned: even those of us in suburban Brisbane are not immune to the snake invasion. Either make sure you are cashed up or have a friend with the courage and knowhow to get rid of it and go on your merry way.

Is it Winter yet? 

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