Explained: Why You Shouldn't Ask When Others Will Have Kids
Fed up with constantly being asked when she will have kids, Michigan-based freelance writer, Emily Bingham penned this Facebook post.
And it's just a massive truth bomb, basically.
Once women hit a certain age, whether they're in a relationship or not, already pregnant, or decided they don't want children, people still seem to feel they have a right to ask you about any plans to reproduce.
She posted a generic photo of an ultrasound and began with the line:
"Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business."
The post has been shared over 30,000 times, and women have been commenting on the post to congratulate her for her wise words.
The full post:
Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business.
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop.
You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues.
You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right.
You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever.
You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration.
Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings — but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences — it more than likely does.
Bottom line: Whether you are a wanna-be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbor, it’s absolutely none of your business.
Ask someone what they’re excited about right now.
Ask them what the best part of their day was.
If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you.
If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.
Top photo: Stock Image